Conquering the Cuy
After finishing law school I traveled to Ecuador and Peru for about three weeks. I went to the beach, to the Amazon, to Machu Picchu and for the most part I had a great time. The one thing I regretted was that I left without trying Cuy.
Cuy is Guinea pig. While I don’t normally dig on rodent, it’s an Andean delicacy traditionally found in Ecuador and Peru and I wanted to at least say I tried it.
And I almost did.
On my last night in Cuzco, I was at a restaurant with friends and was deadset on ordering it. But when I saw the waiter walk by with someone else’s cuy, I completely wimped out.
It was served whole and looked like a big rat, which I guess is kind of what it is. But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was that when the cuy came out on the platter he was wearing a special cuy outfit and a tiny cuy hat. WTF? A tiny hat? Really!?
I don’t have moral qualms about eating meat but I sure as shit don’t want my meat anthropomorphized. That’s just messed up.
It almost feels like the restaurant tricked the guinea pig or something.
Restaurant was all like “Hey Guinea Pig, we’re having a party tonight. You should come.” And Guinea Pig is like “Oh, cool. Thanks, man.” And then Restaurant is like “Oh by the way it’s a fancy party so you should, you know, dress up. Maybe wear a hat or something. Ladies love hats.”
And Guinea Pig is like “Cool man. Good idea. Ladies do love hats.”
And so Guinea Pig puts on his fanciest duds and comes to the party. But no one’s there. He’s looking around for a beer and something to eat and he’s like “dude, you guys have any nachos?”
And Restaurant doesn’t respond. No words, just an icy stare. And then Guinea Pig realizes what’s going on and he’s like “fuuuuuuuck”.
Fifteen minutes later, Guinea Pig is on your plate, wearing a fucking tiny hat.
Yeah, I’m not down with that kind of cuy. That’s cold blooded, Joe Pesci getting whacked in Goodfellas style cuy. No thank you. So I left my first South American journey cuy free.
Flash forward to South America Adventure 2016. I am determined not to make the same mistake twice. Yet somehow I found myself with only few days left in cuy country and I still hadn’t tried it.
But the gods must have been smiling down on me. Because today it happened. We were on an eight hour bus ride from Huaraz to Lima. The bus stopped at a roadside cafe. I scanned the menu. And at the very bottom was cuy.
Now’s my chance. It’s now or never. I ordered it. It was $5, which was two and half times more than the arroz con pollo. It came out with potatoes and rice in a spicy red sauce. To my relief, there was no hat.
I took a bite. It was okay. White meat. Tasted kinda like chicken.
